How to truly connect with others

Sharing a real connection with someone is one of the most beautiful and valuable things

There was a time where I thought that in order to really open up to someone, to be completely myself and to show  my vulnerable side, I would need to feel completely accepted by the other person. I would need to feel connected to him or her or have a sense of belonging  to show myself.

So I was waiting and waiting for someone to give me that sense of security to open up in order to  finally feel that deep connection that I was longing for so much. But none of the things I felt during that time were mind-blowing. And sometimes I caught myself wondering “is this really it? Is this the closest I will ever feel to someone?”.

Until one day I realized that what I was thinking was kind of wrong and that it was actually the other way around.

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I mean once you think about it, it is kind of obvious. How should someone give me the feeling that they accept the real me, connect with the real me, if I hide parts of  meself and they just don’t know all of who I am? If they maybe know my strength, but I don’t allow them to see my vulnerable site.

So only, if I open up first. Only if I’m completely myself, others can connect with the real me.

We can never experience true connection, if we don’t show others our real self and part of that self is not only our strength, our dreams and hopes, but also what we feel ashamed of or what scares us.

Yes, it’s scary to put yourself out there first, not knowing, if others will accept or reject you, but believe me it will be worth it.

I guess it’s obvious that I’m not expecting you to show your vulnerable site to literally everybody or to randomly open up to everybody crossing your way. I’m talking about sharing who you are with the people you want to connect with on a deeper level, the ones you want to become friends with etc.

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Often we are afraid that others won’t accept the things we feel most vulnerable about. And if we dig down deep, often the reason why we are afraid that others are not going to accept that part of us is, because that is a part that we actually don’t accept about ourselves.

Be bold, be brave enough to be curious about why you are so afraid to share parts of who you are with others. Observe how you treat the parts or the thoughts about yourself that you don’t accept.

A lot of people tend to be quite hard on themselves and don’t back off from hurting themselves badly with their own thoughts.

So learn to treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Instead of ignoring or burring parts of yourself that you don’t like. Instead try to find ways to accept them.

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Sharing a real connection is one of the most beautiful and valuable things that exist

And I think that deep down inside everybody knows that this is true. So a hundred times worse than maybe getting hurt when showing up as who you are is never showing your real self in the first place, because you will miss out on one of the most beautiful kinds of happiness. This experience will change you for the better, no doubt.

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For one second, think about people you instantly liked or admired.

Did you like the ones better, who always did everything right and have never shown vulnerability?

Or did you like those, who weren’t perfect, but who seem to be totally at ease with that and with who they are. Those, for whom not trying is far worse than failing.

Very seldom you might meet people, who can see through your walls, who know your vulnerable sides, even if you have never told them. They actually accept you for who you are, without you having opened up first. But the problem is, because you never shared your vulnerable side with that person, you simply don’t believe that they actually know and accept you. So in the end you’re again the one to open up.

And let me tell you one last interesting fact. Not always, but very often speaking out loud about something that scares you suddenly makes it less scary. If you speak about what scares you, by speaking you take away the power it had over you while you stayed quiet

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